Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Okay? Okay.

One of my favourite parts of The Fault In Our Stars.

...
I couldn't be mad at him for even a moment, and only now that I loved a grenade did I understand the foolishness of trying to save others from my own impending fragmentation: I couldn't unloved Augustus Waters. And I didn't want to.
   "It's not fair," I said. "It's just so goddamned unfair."
   "The world," he said, "is not a wish-granting factory," and then he broke down, just for one moment, his rob roaring impotent like a clap of thunder unaccompanied by lightning, the terrible ferocity that amateur in the field of suffering might mistake for weakness. Then he pulled me to him and, his face inches from mine, resolved, "I'll fight it. I'll fight it for you. Don't you worry about me, Hazel Grace. I'm okay. I'll find a way to hang around and annoy you for a long time."

I just cannot get over their story.

I'd rather be boozed up, used up and bruised up.

https://youtu.be/hrka9XiK4jE

I get a sh-sh-shake in my knees every time you looks towards me

https://youtu.be/mKz8uQx2Rm0

Still one of my favourites.

https://youtu.be/NpNP0YjQwDM

I love her.

https://youtu.be/icW2LAXEMTE

I'm supposed to be sleeping early to adjust my sleeping pattern in preparation for my new job next week, but I just can't. She's so extremely captivating that I've been up re-watching the old videos of my old favourite songs of hers - originals as well as covers.
I feel all sorts of things when her vocal cords create the most breathtaking vibrations I can imagine.
What I'd give to meet her. What I'd give to be blessed with her voice serenading me a heart song. What I'd give to tell her in person how wonderfully and exceptionally amazing she is.
No matter what, I think she'll always be my first and always crush.

Friday, July 17, 2015

First full day.

So, it's our first full day in P.I. And already more delays.
Our flight to Manila was delayed by an hour plus we were flying in circles for almost an hour and a half because of air traffic. And now, our flight to El Nido is delayed at least up to 45 minutes.

Oh well, at least time is spent with good company.
I do miss my parents though.. Landing yesterday made me miss them even more because this is the first time I'm travelling overseas without them. I'm a little nervous but I'm just glad we're with a group, helps take my mind off everything else.


Anyway, I'm excited to see beaches!!

Monday, July 13, 2015

To Jazmine.

You left today. You're taking a huge step towards your goals and I couldn't be happier and prouder. I admire your courage and I praise you so much for it.
Although we aren't as close, I still balled my eyes out saying bye to you at the airport ...
I've never told anyone other than Carl this, but I truly admire you. Your mindset, values, strength and care for others. And your makeup skills and fashion preferences are also an added bonus factor to my admiration. Lol.
I miss you already, babe. I hope that you still continue to feel all the love and support from your friends and family from the land down under! And most of all I wish you all the great and wonderful experiences and opportunities while pursuing your goals! Love you and stay safe <3

Monday, July 6, 2015

Once again.

I'm getting tired. Once again I'm exhausted and feeling like giving up.

But I need to be strong and not give in to my greatest weaknesses. I need to bring myself up and not let my darkness over power the rest of my strength.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Motivation.

I need to find motivation.
I don't want to let go of myself and get too 'comfortable'.

But then again, I'm still okay with what I see when I look in the mirror.
Of course there are parts that I wished looked better but I know that I can't be perfect.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Stand up.

I've been told that I speak my mind too often. But it's difficult to stay quiet when you see others are hurting even if they won't admit it to themselves.

I like to think of myself as an advocate for those you don't have or utilise their voice to stand up for themselves. If that causes others to hate me. Fine.
But hey, if "you have enemies? Good. That means you stood for something, some time in your life." - Winston Churchill.

I don't want to go about my life knowing that I just stood by when I could've done something to help.


https://instagram.com/p/4F2eA5h2Ob/

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Freedom.

Finished my last exam yesterday. Felt so good to walk out feeling a little lighter and somewhat less stressed.

But even with exams done, I'm still feeling heavy and weighed down. After venting out more yesterday I do feel a little better. But still ... I really just want this feeling to go away. I want my mind to be free.

I'm really only comforted with the fact that I'll be on holiday with Carl and my cool Ates and Kuyas this exact time next month. I cannot wait! Very excited because it'll be the first time I'm travelling overseas without my parents. Not that I didn't enjoy overseas trips with them, this is just the first time I'll really feel grown up.
Haha yes, I'm still a big kid. But whatever, it's my first time so I am going to focus on that and enjoy myself.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Nothing.

I refuse to let you continue to tear me down. The words have passed already and I can still hear you using my weakness as a way to stab me in the back.
Wow. It still baffles me how low you've gone.

Whatever. I refuse to waste time on you. I'll say hi if I must, but other than that, you are nothing to me. Nothing.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Failure.

Seriously not prepared for my exam today.  I kinda know my content but still honestly feel like I've already failed.
I feel like crap and I've even thought of seriously injuring myself because I'm so ashamed.

I'm spiralling downwards. This is so shit.
I'm so shit. I'm a stupid ass shit-idiot.

Friday, June 5, 2015

New title. Same blog.

Decided to change my blog title. Didn't think 'exceptionally' fitted anymore. Honestly don't think it ever did.
But anyway... New title, but still the same old blog that'll probably get forgotten about again sooner rather than later.

Cheers all.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Hi.

It has been a very, very long time.

Hey all! I've been pretty MIA on this blog for over a year and I apologise ... even though I'm pretty much talking to myself.
Anyway, thought I might as well post a brief update about where I am in life right now.

I'm still loving fashion. Just not really updated with current trends and whatnot because I've hit a bit of a ditch. So I've pretty much stuck to the basics I guess. And really just staying warm because winter is here!
I've definitely missed the cold and ya'll know I love to layer. It just sucks when I can't enjoy because I've been recovering from a cold for the past 2 days. But hey! That doesn't stop me from consuming multiple cups of tea whilst chilling in bed.

I'm studying Psychology now. And I am loving it! Sure it's been a stressful first semester, and I'm no where near prepared for my exams next week, but honestly, I know I could've tried harder. So if I fail ... Well, it's my own fault really/
So yeah, I still want to help others. That's why I chose to study psychology and hopefully be somewhat of a success in that field.
I really want to help. So if you've got something on your mind, send it my way.
I've get various links on the right hand side where you can get in touch with me. I've even got an ask.fm account now so ask away! And remember to stay anonymous if you don't want others to know who you are once I respond.